Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
