I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
