D3 body, D1 cock
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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