Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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