that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
