Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize