went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
