You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
