i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
