So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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