so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
