somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
