we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's official drugs can't kill me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
