at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
