Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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