I want to have your abortion
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
