i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
soo... how was my night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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