last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
