How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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