Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
They took my balls.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
