I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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