Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
how does that bad decision feel?
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