yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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