thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
