Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
