Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
