She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
