There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
