i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
