As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
