just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
