its not stalking. its research.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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