and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
