umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You dont lie about slip and slides
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
