im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize