If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
