i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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