let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
