You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
