I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
