ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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