There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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