I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
