A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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