so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
