Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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