Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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