Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
