Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
