so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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