if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
