Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
