I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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