I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize