1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she peed on how many people?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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