I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was confusing and full of hummus
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you had me at cake vodka
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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