We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
