Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
