I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
