I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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