Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
