Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
