You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
