And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
