I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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