Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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