We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
