Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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