how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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