Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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