im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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