why didn't you poke me back
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize