I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
