haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
