just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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