He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
